Communication Stress How to stop IT?

Sometimes the reason a communication breaks down and leads to some stress and confusion is because one of the speaker’s repetitive use the pronoun ‘It’.

What is David talking about? You may be asking. I am referring to the experience you may have had when you are speaking to someone about a number of topics and the person you are speaking to says ‘Well, what do you think of it?’ and you respond (Since you are not sure what IT is referring to) ‘Think of what?’.

Hopefully, the person you are speaking to will say ‘Oh! I was referring to the trip’ (or whatever IT is) but sometimes the person does not respond with exactly what they meant by IT. They may say in a unhappy tone or slightly stressed voice ‘Have you been listening?’ and all you can say is ‘I am not sure what you are referring to by it’.

Overall, a few moments of confusion and stress occur in the conversation due to the use of the pronoun IT.  Now if this occurs in a personal relationship or in a business presentation the best solution if you are the user of the word IT to immediately remember the guideline from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) that says ‘Communication is the Response you Get“. In essence, your use of the word IT has confused the listener so to get a better response you simply need to clarity.

Simple concept, indeed, always practiced? Well…

Reflect for the moment if you have ever had a conversation with a friend or client where confusion and tension arrived because one of the you used the pronoun IT several times in a statement and the other person lost track of what was being referred to. Indeed, life is short but sometimes pronouns make communication take longer.

Now the task is to become more conscious (both you and me) in our conversations of the amount of times we use the word IT so as to make sure we are not mixing up the person who is taking the time to listen. Now, I have to go back and check how many times I used the word it in this posting. So I can make sure what I am saying makes sense.

Your friend on the journey,


P.S. NLP is full of excellent ways to enhance your ability to communicate and remember ideas. One of the founders of NLP Richard Bandler wrote one book to help summarize what he believe are all the best ideas from NLP you can use in your life right now. The title of the book is Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Follow this link and read more including reviews on Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming