Communication Solutions Why did she say that?

During everyday life you will without a doubt encounter instances with friends, family members, clients, customers, managers and (fill in the blank) where you will wonder why they said what they said during a conversation. Something you do not understand and you now feel negatively stressed about it.

As a result of hearing the comment you may choose to do one of the follow:


Spend at least ten minutes alone wondering why the person said what was said.


Tell a friend about what you heard and both spend at least ten minutes talking about what the person said.


Get upset and decide to never speak to the person again.


At the earliest opportunity ask in a gentle way the person who made the comment to you what did they mean by what they said.

Of course, you will have chosen answer D.

I used to go for C until I learned D was a better choice.

I mention all of this because I learned from one approach to psychology called ‘NeuroLinguisticProgramming (or NLP for short) that ‘Communication is the Response you get’.

When I learned about this I realized some of the ‘amazing’ comments I got from people was a direct result of the statements I had made and not because of anything else.

The proof of the importance of this concept in my life was when I asked people why they said such and such and they said it was because I said such and such. I listened. I learned and I grew.

I recommend that if you are willing to check out this idea of going back to the person you said something to upset you as soon as possible you will learn lots about how you are communicating with people.

You may just find out some of the stress you are experiencing can be stopped by you changing how you communicate.

To learn how to communicate better and a whole lot more check out an excellent book on NLP I recently read called Get the Life You Want

Your friend on the journey,